YYH Collection of short stories!
by Mischievious Moogle
Summary: I've found interesting stories and put the YYH cast in them! See what hilarious stories they are and what happens to them!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or anything like that. This is a collection of short stories I thought were hilarious and felt that the gang would probably end up in a similar scenario. I want to thank the people who made up these stories/jokes and let me use them! I give you all the credit for these stories! Enjoy!

Collection of Short Stories: Chp. 1

**Story 1: Puzzles**

Yusuke and Kurama were relaxing on the school roof, watching the clouds roll by. "This is serene, isn't it, Yusuke?", Kurama said. "Um…right", Yusuke said, not sure of what serene meant. Just then, Kuwabara charged in, holding a jigsaw puzzle. "Guys! Guys! I've made a world record!", he shouted excitedly. "Congratulations, Kuwabara", Kurama said. "I don't believe it! What did you do!", Yusuke said doubtfully. Kuwabara held up his puzzle. "I solved this puzzle in only six days!", he said proudly. "So?", Yusuke said. Kuwabara scoffed and said, "The box said 4-5 years!".

**Story 2: Grapes**

Jin loved to visit Gen Kai because of her delicious treats she makes for him. But one day, he went to her home and asked for something different. "You got any grapes?", Jin asked. "No, why would I?", she asked. Jin shrugged and flew off. A day later, he came back and asked for grapes again. "I don't have any!", Gen Kai said. So Jin repeated this ritual for two weeks, when Gen Kai finally became annoyed. "Look! I didn't have grapes yesterday, last week, or today! And I definitely wont have any tomorrow! If you ask me for grapes ONE more time, I'll nail your feet to the floor!", she roared at him. Disappointed, Jin flew away, but he returned the next day. "Hello, Gen Kai! Do you have any nails?", he asked. "No, I'm sorry", she said. "Oh,"Jin said, "Do you have any grapes?".

**Story 3: Magical Wish**

One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another person before.

But today, by chance Kuwabara was chasing after Hiei (like he could get caught).  
The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two people I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Kuwabara, you can go first."

He thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the humans in this town, apart from me, to be female."  
For his wish, Hiei asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. Kuwabara was amazed at the stupidity of Hiei, wasting his wish like that.

It was the Kuwabara's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the humans in the next town were female as well."  
Hiei asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine.

Kuwabara was shocked that the demon was asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike.

For the last wish Kuwabara thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the humans in the world, apart from me, were female."  
Hiei grinned, roared the engine, and said, "I wish that Kuwabara was gay."

**Story 4: Tricky Students**

Kuwabara and Yusuke had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday, and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study.

The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. Each boy just shrugged and went to the two different parts of the building.  
As each sat down, they read the first question.

"For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom."

At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease. Then, the test continued.

"For 95 points, tell me which tire it was"

**Story 5: Rinku's list of annoying things to do in an elevator! **(Thanx to my friends for helping me with this list! .)

1.Make race car noises when people get on and off.  
2.Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.  
3.Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"  
4.Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.  
5.Sell Girl Scout Cookies.  
6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.  
7.Shave.  
8.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"  
9.Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.  
10.Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.  
11.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.  
12.Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"  
13.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."  
14.Sing Barney songs  
15.On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.  
16.Do Tai Chi exercises.  
17.Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."  
18.When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"  
19.Sing "Oops I did it again"  
20.Meow occasionally.  
21.Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.  
22.Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"  
23.Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.  
24.Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.  
25.Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.  
26.Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.  
27.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.  
28.Burp, then say, "Mmmmm...tasty!"  
29.Leave a box between the doors.  
30.Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.  
31.Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.  
32.Start a sing-along.  
33.When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"  
34.Play the accordion.  
35.Shadow box.  
36.Say, "Ding!" at each floor (works best if you start from the top floor).  
37.Lean against the button panel.  
38.Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.  
39.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.  
40.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."  
41.Bring a chair along.  
42.Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"  
43.Blow spit bubbles.  
44.Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.  
45.Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."  
46.Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.  
47.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.  
48.Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.  
49.Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."  
50.Give random people annoying pet names like "Boo-boo" or "Lovey-Dovey-Snugglykins"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH! I want to thank all the ppl who reviewed so far! I will continue this fic as long as i have jokes and short stories!To Rinku's list, i want to add another one making the list51! i want to include a suggestion byShinka Yamazaki, which is "Sing the "I work at Burger King" song over and over as loud as you possibly can!". Thankies for the suggestion! Enjoy the new chappie!

Collection of Short Stories: Chp 2

**Story 6: 3 Wise Men**

Touya, Jin, and Risho were walking home to their house one summer. They all lived right next to each other. All 3 of them had a large swimming pool. They were just getting ready to dive into the pool, when a genie popped out in front of them.  
"It's your lucky day!" said the genie. "Just jump and say whatever drink you want, and the pool water will turn into it."  
Touya jumped and said "Gatorade!" and he jumped into a pool of Gatorade.  
Jin jumped and said "Coke!" and he jumped into a pool of Coke.  
Risho jumped and said...  
"Weeeeeeeee!"

**Story 7: Hiding **

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama had gone joyriding and were being chased by the police. Yusuke stopped the car and told everyone to make a run for the barn at the end of the road and hide in there. They all ran inside and sat down. Just when they became comfy, the police slammed open the door. The three boys jumped and hid in a barrel, a sack, and a cardboard box. The policeman poked the barrel, which Yusuke was in. "Woof Woof!", he barked to get the officer away. The cop moved on to the box and poked that. Kurama was in it and said, "Meow meow". The officer finally reached the sack with Kuwabara. He poked it and Kuwabara said, "Potatoes".

**Story 8: Pit Stop**

Chu, Yusuke, Hiei, and Rinku were riding in the car for a road trip. They were all destined for Las Vegas! But it was a fifteen hour trip in a car. Rinku was holding his teddy bear. "I love Snuffykins!", he announced. Chu smiled. "But he has to go wee", Rinku said. Chu looked at Rinku. "He's a teddy bear. He doesn't have to", he said. Rinku started to cry. "But he has to go wee now!", he whined. "We're not stopping! That would delay us even more!", Yusuke complained. Rinku cried loudly. "I want to stop! He has to go wee NOW!", he sobbed. Hiei was getting annoyed. "Oh, for goodness sake, just stop the car!", Hiei shouted. Yusuke growled and stopped the car at a gas station. "Go, runt", Yusuke said. Rinku jumped out of the car and spun his teddy bear in circles. "Weeeeeeeeeeeee!", he shouted.

**Story 9: Drinking**

Chu staggers into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy everyone in the bar a drink and get one for yourself too!" The bartender makes the drinks and everyone raises their glass  
and yells "CHEERS!" and downs their drinks. The bartender says "That'll be 37.50."  
The drunk says, "Keep wishing, 'cuz I don't have any money!"

This infuriates the bartender who then jumps over the bar and beats up Chu and throws him out into the street. The next day Chu walks into the same bar and says, "I'd like to buy the whole bar a drink, and get one for yourself, too".

The bartender figures that maybe he was a little hard on the guy the day before and decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. He makes the drinks and they all say, "Salute!" and down the drinks. The bartender says, "That'll be 42.50."

Chu replies by putting his thumb to his nose, wiggling his fingers, and making a loud raspberry noise followed by, "I don't have any money !" This angers the bartender even more than the first time. He jumps over the bar and beats Chu and throws him out into the street onto his face and kicks him a few times for good measure.

The next day the Chu walks into the same bar, but before he can say anything the bartender says, "Let me guess, you want to buy the whole bar a drink and I should get one for myself, too, right?" Chu replies, "No way, you get too violent when you drink!"

**Story 10: New Computer**

Kurama had talked Hiei into buying a new computer for himself. Hiei agreed and Kurama gave him one. Kurama left Hiei alone with it because he had to go off to school. "I don't need him to figure out how to work a human thing", Hiei scoffed. Before Kurama left, he had already plugged it in. Hiei sat there for twenty minutes, waiting for something to happen. "Stupid thing. Doesn't want to work", he said. He remembered that Kurama left a phone number just in case he needed help. Hiei called it and Kurama picked up. "Everything ok, Hiei?", Kurama asked. "Yes, but I think the computer is defective", Hiei complained. "What happened when you pushed the power switch?", Kurama asked. "What power switch?", Hiei asked. Kurama sighed and instructed Hiei on what to do.

Hiei now looked at the computer, which was now on. "Ok, now what?", he asked. The computer was already fully on, and asked for Hiei to push any key. "Where's that "any" key?", he asked. Yet again, he called up Kurama at school. "Yes?", Kurama replied. "Where's the "any" key?", Hiei asked. Kurama sweat dropped. "Just push any key of the keyboard", Kurama said. Hiei sighed. "If I knew where "any" key was, I wouldn't have called you for it, now would I?", Hiei said. Kurama sighed and instructed Hiei to push the "J" key.

Hiei pushed the "J" key and the computer started up. Then, the computer asked for a password. "Now, where did Kurama write that?", Hiei asked. Hiei couldn't find the paper, so he decided that any word would have done the job. He typed in "Fire" and the computer buzzed. The words "Bad" and "Invalid" flashed on the screen. "WHAT!", Hiei roared and sliced the computer in two. A few hours later, Kurama came home and spotted the computer in pieces placed in the trash can. "What happened, Hiei!", Kurama asked. Hiei scoffed and said, "The computer called me "Bad" and "Invalid". I shown him bad and invalid". Kurama sighed. "That shouldn't be taken personally", he said.


	3. Chapter 3

Collection of Short Stories: Chp. 3

**Story 11: Wishes**

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama had gotten lost in a forest on a hike. It has been six days, and all three boys were tired and hungry. They were out of food and water. Just as they had given up hope, Yusuke tripped over a genie's lamp. "Excellent! Now we could have three wishes!", he said. The genie came out of the lamp and told them all together, they have three wishes. "Alright! I'll go first. I wish I went home!", Yusuke said. The genie zapped him and he went home. "I wish I was home", Kurama said. Again, the genie zapped him and he was sent home. Kuwabara sighed. "Gee, I'm so lonely. I wish my friends were here again", he sighed.

**Story 12: Candy**

Rinku walked into a candy shop. "Hello, sonny", the old salesclerk said, "What'll it be today?". "One dollar worth of chocolates, please", Rinku said as sweetly as he could. The old man looked on the shelf and the chocolates were on the top. He took a ladder and set it up. The old man climbed up to the top and got 1 worth of chocolate. "Here you go", he said, handing it to Rinku. Rinku giggled and skipped out of the store.

Next person was Koto. She happily walked into the store. "Hello!", she said. The old man smiled. "Hello, miss! What'll it be today?", the old man said. "1 worth of chocolates, please", she said with an innocent face. The old man sighed and got his ladder again. He climbed up, got the chocolates, and gave them to Koto. "Thank you!", she said and skipped out of the shop.

The third person was Touya. "Hey, old man", he said as he walked into the store. "Hello, young man! What'll it be?", the salesclerk asked. "1 worth of chocolates", Touya asked. The old man, yet again, got onto his ladder and got the chocolates. He tossed them down to Touya, who caught them beautifully. "Thanks", he said and walked out. The old man sat down on the top step of the ladder, waiting for his next customer.

His final customer was Jin. "Hello young man!", the old man called out. "Hey, gramps!", Jin said. "Lemme guess, 1 of chocolates, right?", the old man asked. Jin shook his head. "No, not today!", he called out. The old man climbed down and put the ladder away. "Then, what'll it be?", the man asked. "Today I would like 2 worth of chocolate, please!", Jin asked happily.

**Story 13: Divorce**

Sakkyo and Schizuru had gotten married 10 years ago and were still married today. They lived in a beautiful home, in a beautiful place, and had 2 beautiful sons. Basically, they were living a beautiful life. One afternoon, Schizuru was driving Sakkyo home from work in their red convertible. "Schizuru, I want a divorce", Sakkyo suddenly proposed. Schizuru twitched and made the car go from 60 mph to 70 mph. She was driving up to a brick wall. "And, my lawyer said I will get half the house", Sakkyo said, not noticing the brick wall approaching them.

Schizuru again added 10 mph to their current speed, letting them drive 80 mph. "Actually, I get the whole house, and this car!", he said, still not noticing the approaching wall. Schizuru drove now at 90 mph. "I get the house, the car, and all the money in our account together!", Sakkyo said, cluelessly. Shizuru sped up to 100mph. "This divorce is great, because not only do I get all that stuff, but I get our sons and you must pay child support!", he said evilly. Schizuru, out of anger, made the car go 150 mph. "So, honey, what do you want out of this divorce thing, other than what I got?", Sakkyo said. Shizuru, now only a few feet away from the wall, said, "I think I'll take the airbags".

**Story 14: Riceballs**

Togoru and Gen Kai were married for 50 years. They went through a lot just to be together, and now, Togoru was lying on his deathbed. He was deathly ill and had no hopes of recovery. His sickness was inevitable because of his old age. As he lay there, he smelled something delicious. Gen kai was cooking his favorite flavored rice balls. He sighed happily as he sniffed the sweet aroma. He was lying in his room and Gen Kai was cooking in the kitchen. Togoru decided to get up and go down the stairs and make his way to the kitchen himself. As ill as he was, he forced himself to stand up. He used most of his energy just to get out of his room.

He leaned against the wall for support and slowly inched down the hall to the stairs. "Ok", he said to himself, "Here we go". He took one step and groaned. This was too much for him. He decided to turn around. But he couldn't! The smell was too sweet and he was already half way there. He took another step and winced in pain. He was way too weak to continue on. But he went on anyway. One painful step after the other. He reached the bottom of the steps and collapsed. "Ow", he said as he gasped for air. He had a rough time getting up, but he did. He finally reached the kitchen doorway.

Togoru took one baby step after the other as he spotted the basket of rice balls on the kitchen table. "Delicious…", he said to himself. He was only a few feet from the table. He decided to make a dive for it. Togoru, with his remaining might, dove for the table and hit it with a thud. "I-I made it!", he said aloud. He was reaching for one, when suddenly a sharp slap came down on his hands. "No!", Gen Kai scolded him, "Those arent yours! Those rice balls are for your funeral!".

**Story 15: Jin's Annoying Questions **(use these questions only when under a sugar high to annoy!)

a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll  
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

a.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt"

a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a  
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

a.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

a.. What do you call male ballerinas?

a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why  
didn't he just buy dinner?

a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from  
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

a.. Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the  
same tune?

a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


	4. Chapter 4

Collection of Short Stories: Chp 4

**Story 16: School**

A new school year was beginning and everyone was excited to get their new programs. Kurama's class was especially excited. They were the first class to get their schedules.

"Now, children, these programs are perfect. It's a one in a million chance to get a mistake on it because it was done on computers", the teacher said while handing out the programs.

When Kurama received his, he was surprised. "Um…Mrs. Sacapuntas?", he said, "I think I have the one in a million mistake here. Can I go to my counselor and get it fixed?". The teacher nodded and Kurama was on his way.

"Mr. Lee? I have a problem on my schedule", Kurama said as he handed his counselor the card. The counselor looked at it for a while and gave it back to him.

"I don't see a problem", he said, handing it back. Kurama sighed. "You don't see that I have lunch at seven thirty in the morning? I'm not too hungry at that time", he said, "If I have to, I will bring my mother in and she'll have it changed".

The counselor took the card back and two days later, Kurama received the correction. He growled and went back to the counselor's office. "Excuse me!", he said, "But you havent changed anything!".

"Settle down", the counselor said, "Let me see it". Kurama handed him the card. After careful examination, the counselor gave the card back. "I don't see the problem", he said. Kurama gasped.

"You just added two more periods of lunch after that one! If I have to bring my mom in-", Kurama started. The counselor interrupted. "Leave your schedule here and I'll fix it. I can only fix your schedule one more time for this semester", he said.

Two days later, the principal decided to look at various classes and he chose to look at home economics first. He walked in the class where he saw a bunch of girls fixing up their favorite dishes.

"How nice", he started, "to see the future wives fixing food for their future families! It makes me- Minamino! What are you doing here? Why are you wearing that apron?".

Kurama was speechless. "I…my schedule…my class…lunch…my counselor…the computer…", he managed to say. The principal raised his hand. "Enough! I hate your bad humor of cheating your way into an all girls class. I want you to bring your mother in tomorrow and we'll discuss your schedule!".

**Story 17: Oranges**

Kuwabara decided he needed a job. So he chose to work for a fruit vender on the corner. The man hired him in an instant and gave him an apron. "Ok! You're hired! I'm going to get more merchandise, ok?", the boss told Kuwabara. Kuwabara nodded.

As soon as his boss left, a lady walked up to the stand. "Excuse me, young man, but what are you selling?", she asked. Kuwabara shrugged. "I don't know", he said. The lady sighed and walked away. "What's wrong with you!", the boss yelled at him, "We're selling oranges!". Kuwabara nodded obediently.

Another lady walked up to the stand. "Hello!", she said, "What are you selling?". "Oranges", Kuwabara mumbled. The lady sighed happily. "How much?", she asked. Kuwabara shrugged. "I dunno", he said. The lady became disinterested and walked away.

The boss came back. "The oranges are twenty five cents a pound!", he said, "Now get selling or you're fired!". Kuwabara saw another customer coming. "Hello, sir", the man said, "What are you selling?"

"Oranges"

"How much?"

"Twenty five cents a pound"

"Are they fresh?"

Kuwabara shrugged. "I don't know", he said. The man sighed and walked off. The boss growled. "They are fresh! Very very fresh! And tell the customers to have a nice day! I need a break…", he said and walked away.

Kuwabara didn't care too much and kept looking out for customers. Just then, a cop walked up to him. "Hm… a crime was committed here not too long ago, and you look pretty suspicious. Sir, what is your name?", the cop said.

"Oranges", Kuwabara said. The cop looked at him suspiciously. "So, 'Oranges', where do you live?", he asked. "Twenty five cents a pound", Kuwabara said, confused at what was going on. The cop glared at Kuwabara. "Are you being fresh with me!", he asked.

Kuwabara nodded. "Very very fresh!", he said. The cop growled and grabbed Kuwabara. "You're coming downtown with me!", he said angrily. Kuwabara just smiled and said, "Thank you! Have a nice day!".

**Story 18: New Invention**

Yusuke goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.  
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"  
"A fottle" , replies Yusuke.  
"A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?"

"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."  
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.

"A farton", replies Yusuke.  
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"

"In that case," says Yusuke  
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

**Story 19: Red Bench**

One day, Yusuke was jogging and got tired. He came to a red bench and sat down. Kuwabara, who was walking his cat, came by him and asked, "Whatcha doin?". "Sitting on a red bench", he replied. "May I join you?", Kuwabara asked. Yusuke nodded. Kuwabara sat down and put his kitty on his lap. Then, Hiei was taking a walk and saw the two boys sitting on a bench.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Sitting on a red bench", both replied

"May I join you?"

"Sure"

Hiei sat down and looked around. Then, Keiko walked by, talking on her new cell phone. She stopped and saw the three boys on the bench..

"Whatcha doing?"

"Sitting on a red bench", all three said together.

"May I join you?"

"Sure"

Keiko sat down and continued her phone conversation. Finally, Botan walked by, playing with a gameboy. She looked up and saw the people sitting on the bench.

"What'cha doin?"

"Sitting on a red bench", all four replied.

"May I join you?"

"Sure"

Botan happily sat down and continued playing with her gameboy. Kurama was taking a walk and saw the three boys and two girls on the red bench. "What are you guys doing?", he asked. "Sitting on a red bench", they all replied. Kurama gasped and said, "You mean the one I just finished painting?".

**Story 20: Kurama's Useless Information **(it still makes you look smart to say it!)

1. Coca-cola was originally green.  
2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.  
3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.  
4. Dumbest dog: Afghan  
5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.  
6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.  
7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2  
8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: 40,000  
9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong  
10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska  
11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4  
12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12  
13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28  
14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38  
15. Estimated of American adults who go on diet each year: 44  
16. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33  
17. Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7  
18. Percentage of Americans who say that God has spoken to them: 36  
19. Percentage of Americans who regularly attend religious services: 43  
20. City with highest per capita viewer ship of TV evangelists: Washington DC  
21. Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80  
22. of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50  
23. of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58  
24. of women who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 85  
25. Number of different family relationships for which Hallmark makes cards: 105  
26. Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: 6,400  
27. Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.  
28. Percentage of Americans who have visited Disneyland or Disney World: 70  
29. Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.  
30. Portion of ice cream sold that is vanilla: 1/3  
31. Portion of potatoes sold that are French fried: 1/3  
32. Percentage of Americans that eat at McDonald's each day: 7  
33. Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90  
34. Percentage of mammal species that are: 3  
35. Number of US states that claim test scores in their elementary schools are above national average: 50  
36. Portion of Harvard students who graduate with honors: 4/5  
37. Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7.  
38. Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3  
39. Only President to remain a bachelor: James Buchanon  
40. Only first lady to carry a loaded revolver: Eleanor Roosevelt  
41. Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F. Kennedy for "Profiles in Courage"  
42. Only President awarded a patent: Abe Lincoln, for a system of buoying vessels over shoals  
43. Only food that does not spoil: honey  
44. Only person to win 64,000 Challenge and 64,000 Question: Dr. Joyce Brothers (subject is boxing)  
45. Only bird that can fly backwards: Hummingbird  
46. Only continent without reptiles or snakes: Antarctica  
47. Only animal besides human that can get sunburn: pig  
48. Ostriches stick their heads in the sand to look for water.  
49. An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.  
50. In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.  
51. Polar bears are left-handed.  
52. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.  
53. Eskimos never gamble.  
54. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.  
55. The youngest pope was 11 years old.  
56. Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.  
57. Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.  
58. Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.  
59. Your nose and ears never stop growing.  
60. Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets in our solar system combined.  
61. Hot water is heavier than cold.  
62. The parachute was invented by da Vinci in 1515.  
63. They have square watermelons in Japan. They stack better.  
64. Cream does not weigh as much as milk.  
65. Starfish have eight eyes-one at the end of each leg.  
66. Iceland consumes more Coca-cola per capita than any other nation.  
67. First novel ever written on a typewriter was "Tom Sawyer."  
68. There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.  
69. Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.  
70. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.  
71. Men get hiccups more often than women.  
72. Armadillos can be housebroken.


	5. Chapter 5

Collection of Short Stories: Chp 5

**Story 21: House**

Kurama was walking around his house, when he saw Kuwabara standing completely still, holding a pot. "Kuwabara, what on earth are you doing?", Kurama asked. Kuwabara looked at him. "I'm playing house! Can you guess who I am?", he asked. Kurama smiled. "Are you the father cooking dinner?", he asked. Kuwara shook his head. "Are you the son cooking dinner?", Kurama asked. Kuwabara shook his head again. "Youre not the mommy, are you?", Kurama asked. Kuwabara shook his head. "Hm…the butler cooking dinner?", Kurama asked. Kuwabara shook his head yet again. Kurama sighed. "I give up…what are you?", he said. Kuwabara smiled and said, "I'm the stove!".

**Story 22: Wind Lessons**

Kurama was sitting calmly at home, reading a book. Yusuke walked up to him, holding a baseball. "Hey, Kurama! Wanna play baseball with me?", he asked. Kurama said no. "Why not?", Yusuke asked. "Because I'm reading an interesting book. It's about wind", he said, "It says here that wind moves things. Fascinating, no?". Yusuke sighed. "So you cant play because you're reading a book about moving air, right?", Yusuke said. Kurama nodded and kept reading. Yusuke left for a minute just to get a fan. He plugged it in and turned it on. "Hey! You're right, Kurama! The wind from this fan is moving the pages in your book!", Yusuke said happily. "Yes! It is! Fascinating", Kurama said. Yusuke turned the fan up to full speed and it pulled Kurama's book right out of his hands. Kurama watched his beloved book fly across the room. "Wow! Kurama! Did you see that? The wind threw your book out of your hands!", Yusuke said excitedly. Kurama nodded. "So I've noticed", he said. Yusuke picked up his baseball and said, "So, I see you're not reading anymore. Want to play?".

**Story 23: The Bright Pharmacist**

Touya was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.

Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned Touya that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in coughing and he asked Touya for their best cough syrup. Try as he might Touya could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once.

The customer did as Touya said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.

Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask Touya what had transpired.

"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once" Touya explained.

"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily.

"Sure it will" Touya said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. 

"Just look at him. He's afraid to cough!"

**Story 24: Christmas Trial**

It was Christmas and the judge, Koenma, was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.  
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the ogre.  
"That's no offense," replied Koenma, "How early were you doing this shopping?"  
"Before the store opened," countered the ogre.

**Story 25: Yusuke's Exam Advice! **(try these things next time you take a test!)

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor,

say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else. 

15. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc..).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink).

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture.

Fight for your right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation. 

38. Bring cheat sheets FROM ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out, too) and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a

small sacrifice.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks,  
chairs, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks".


	6. Chapter 6

Collection of Short Stories: Chp 6

**Story 26: Yusuke and Keiko**

Yusuke and his wife, Keiko went to the state fair every year. Every year, Yusuke would say, "Keiko, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year, Keiko would say, "I know, Yusuke, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Yusuke and Keiko went to the fair and Yusuke said, "Keiko, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."

Keiko replied, "Yusuke, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Yusuke and Keiko agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Yusuke and said, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Yusuke replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Keiko fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

**Story 27: Kuwabara Wins the Lottery**

Kuwabara buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.

Kuwabara says, "I want my $20 million."

To which the man replied, "No sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.

Kuwabara said, "I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it."

Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

Kuwabara, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!''

**Story 28: Speed Trap**

A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that three guys were inside(Jin, Risho, and Gama), and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale.

The driver, Touya, pleaded with him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Sir," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous."

"I beg to differ, Officer, I was doing the speed limit exactly: twenty-two miles an hour!" the ice demon said.

The trooper, chuckling, explained to him that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, Touya grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out his error.

"But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These guys seem awfully shaken."

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute," Touya said. "We just got off Route 119."

**Story 29: Watch Your Mouth**

Sakkyo left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife, Schizuru, and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.  
Finally, Schizuru stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"  
To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."  
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.  
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.  
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

**Story 30: Hiei's Childhood Books (this will explain so much) **

1."Strangers Have the Best Candy"

2."The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"

3."What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"

4."Why can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Socket be friends?"

5."Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games"

6."The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"

7."Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"

8."The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead"

9."How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School" 

10."Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear" (His personal favorite)


	7. Chapter 7

Collection of Short Stories: Chp 7

**Story 31: Future Baseball Star **

Rinku was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!". He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed.

"Strike Two!" he cried.

Rinku then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully.

He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more,

"I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed.

"Strike Three!"

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"

**Story 32: Wrong Number **

Several men are in the locker room after a match in the Dark Tournament. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. Sakkyo picks it up and the following conversation ensues:

"Hello?"

"Honey, It's me."

"Sugar!"

"Did you win the match?"

"Yes."

"Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from home. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?"

"What's the price?"

"Only $1,500."

"Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."

"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $60,000!"

"Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great! Before we hang up, something else..."

"What?"

"It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..."

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."

"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000, OK?"

"Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later! I love you!"

"Bye."

Sakkyo hangs up, closes the phone's flap and asks aloud, "Does anyone know to whom this phone belongs?"

**Story 33:The Island **

There were three people stranded on an island, Touya, Karasu, Shishi. Touya looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So he announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So he swam out five miles, and got really tired. He swam out ten miles from the island, and he was too tired to go on, so he drowned.

The second one, Karasu, said to himself, "I wonder if he made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So he attempts to swim out. Karasu had a lot more endurance than Touya, as she swam out 10 miles before he even got tired. After 15 miles, he was too tired to go on, so he drowned (A/N: YAY!).

So Shishi thought to himself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So he swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but he said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So he swam back.

**Story 34:The Vending Machine **

Karasu is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which he has never seen before. He sees the slot for money, gets money out of his pocket, puts 65 cents into the machine, and pushes a letter and a number.

He is mesmerized by the coils turning just enough to let out the candy.

He does this many more times. After a little while, a man comes up behind him and says, "Young man, could you please move? I would like to get some candy."

He replies, "Excuse me! Can't you see I'm winning here!"

**Story 35: Game Master's Way To Deal with Telemarketers **

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married, kids, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

5. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

6. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

7. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

8. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

9. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh No!" and then hang up.

10. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.

11. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

12. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

13. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a pizza.

14. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

15. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"

16. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder...louder...

17. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.


End file.
